Joey Veto's got a problem

I’m Joey Veto and I’m a cheat, I admit it. It takes a big man to admit something like that. I cheat at just about everything I do. I cheat at cards with the guys every Friday night. I cheated in all my marriages. I cheat in business; I even cheat my business buddies. I lie about everything which they say is a form of cheating. I mean you can’t cheat without lying right?

But now I have a dilemma. The horse has come around the barn and kicked me in the ass so to speak. I’m in the process of getting a divorce from wife number three. She’s a real bitch. We argue about everything. She’s saying I cheated on her with other women and she wants just about everything I own to compensate her which is quite a lot. I’m still paying alimony to wife number two. Wife number one is deceased thank god, one less mouth to feed. She somehow tragically slipped on the stairs going down to the basement of my first ex-house and hit her head against the wall. Dead at the scene.

Life goes on; anyway as I was saying I was kicked in the ass because I met a really nice lady, very easy on the eyes at a local super market in my area. Actually it was my first time in such a place. How lucky was that? We’ve been going out about three months now and everything is going along pretty smooth but I have this problem that I probably need to see a shrink about. Me and my ex hate each other, actually it’s more like loathe if there is such a word. Every time we meet at her lawyer’s office to haggle over my assets and how much of my assets belong to her, after the meetings we have a little get-together of our own at a nearby motel.

This is a bit sick I know but we never had any problem in the bedroom if you get my drift. Somehow all the animosity that I feel toward her vanishes into thin air for about half an hour. As soon as we finish up at the motel its back to hating each other. If she ever wanted to knock me off like she said she did it would be very easy in that motel room. Now it’s seems that I’m essentially cheating on my girlfriend with my wife.

I actually just finished up with my ex at the motel and I’m going straight over to my girlfriend’s house. Now I’ve sowed a lot of sexual oats over the years. I’m a man in my mid fifties and unfortunately I seem to be running out of oats. Now here’s the dilemma. My new girlfriend is going to expect some action when I see her. I took a Viagra an hour ago so I could handle my wife at the motel, that worked out okay but this girl lives about three hours away. Will the pill still be potent enough after four hours to deal with another woman?

The side effects of this pill, at least for me are just plain evil. I can’t take a second pill; my head will explode off my neck. I know that there are guys who are reading this who have done the exact same thing, meet a girl in a super market and try to have sexual relations with them but keep running into an ex so they have to have sex with her too. In this day and age it’s a real problem.---Joey Veto

©2012